Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Saturday, November 27, 2004

This is like Random Thought Chigae

My friend in Hong Kong emailed me last night about the job, laughing at my questions I had for her. "It's only a kindergarten," she said. To be fair, I did ask her about offices and prep time and curriculums, etc. She gave me the email of a recruiter (I think) she had worked with in the past, and I just emailed her. So I guess the ball is in motion.

Today, I'm going out to celebrate Thanksgiving in a few hours, at the house of a friend of a friend. Kind of strange, I still consider him my housemate's friend, even though apparently they haven't talked in ages, but come to think of it, I haven't talked to her in ages either and I guess I still consider her a friend as well.

I'm feeling blah, maybe because I am coming down with something, but I have to look inside myself and also wonder if there is some larger issue at hand. The friend I mentioned earlier, well, I agreed to go to a movie with her tomorrow, even though I am not crazy about spending time in her company so much.

I feel kind of sold out, as well, as she is doing Thanksgiving with some other people in our building and while yes, I planned on going to her friend's place a while ago, even an invite from her would have been good.

I sill feel bad about chewing out my ex boyfriend, even though this is a guy who thought at one point buying a chocolate bar for me was too much to ask and the same guy who broke up with me on line. I keep thinking of calling him and saying I'm sorry for chewing you out, even though I believe there is no way in hell I want to get close to you again.

And I am now avoiding the guy whom I gave my phone number to. Well, I'm justifying my behavior as I barely know the guy and have to go out with anyone (or even talk to anyone) whom I don't like.

I went out with a girl last night, who also works in my town, and we had fun. She's really chatty and pleasant. She's had an interesting life where she's traveled all over the world, and even as a child, her dad was working as an engineer and so she lived in South America for awhile, and lived in Australia for a year and Mexico I think, and God knows where else. I'd like to hang out with her again sometime soon, as she seems like a really positive person, and just fun to be with. I guess I'm just looking at my relationships and my friendships and am in assessment mode. I feel (and again, thi could be because I am coming down with something) just drained emotionally, like I want to have The Big Cry, but haven't been able to yet.

Anyways, I guess the key now is to just meet as many people as I can and have fun with them, take care of myself, and just live my life.