Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Tick tick tick....

So, it's coming up to the end of another year in Korea. I wonder what the hell I am doing to myself. I'm torn between staying here in a job I really like, moving on to another country, or just throwing in the towel and moving back home. Right now, my mood is telling me to travel around some more, then go home. I guess at the heart of it, I feel I've spent a lot of time on the outside looking in. I haven't been as true to myself as I would like. When I was home-home, I was someone who rarely went out to a bar, and if I did, I went out with friends for like a drink or two.

Here, in Korea, it's really easy to drink everything away and then I think it's just hard to meet anyone worthwhile in a bar as well. I used to be someone who would date anyone who asked, but now as I see it, there is a guy who has my phone number, who used my phone number to call me about this weekend, but he is like 36 years old and had to be helped into a cab by my friend who ran into him because he was too drunk to stand and hail one himself. Isn't 36 just a little too old to be acting like that?

I hate acting like a priss, but one thing I have noticed is that when a red flag pops up about a guy, I shove it under the bed, and take no notice. I probably will be single for a long time because of that now, but it might be better for me in the long run. I need to find friends, and enjoy myself and my own company right now. Since I'm not one to have a one night stand either, this blog will probably gather dust bunnies before I post any lurid details of any action I happen to get. But we'll see about the lack of posting -- I do have some ideas up my sleeve (no, not on how I'm going to get laid) about my future.