Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Can of Worms Cleanup, Aisle 4

Maybe it's because of the New Year, or because I am leaving Korea for good soon, but I am entertaining ideas abut writing to my last ex and figuring out whether I should have been so angry at him when he broke up with me. Actually, he just wanted to end the relationship, and still be friends, but I didn't see how that could be possible when he asked me earlier "If we broke up, could we still sleep together?"

Call me a priss, call me old-fashioned, but if guys are always saying that the girl is the one who holds the cards in the relationship, shouldn't that be a thing that needn't be asked? As in, it'd be made perfectly clear how she stood on that issue after the breakup?

Also, doesn't that imply that the time you spent talking to each other, getting to know each other, sharing companionship and having a good time with each other (with your clothes on) meant absolutely nothing as far as he was concerned? Maybe my emotions were running high at that point, but I swear to God he was saying "You know I think of you as a slut" in different words. Which led me to believe he just wanted to be my friend to ease his conscience, which caused me to stop taking to him, which caused him to whine and torment a friend of mine, which finally caused me to tell him to stop harassing her and I would never want to hang out with him ever again.

Maybe I just am regretting the way it all ended. Like I said, I don't want to see him. There's a lot of weirdness still involved. However, if he could apologize to me, I'd be more than willing to apologize to him for all the things I did in retaliation for something I may or may not have misunderstood, and maybe we could get back to emailing each other every now and again and see how that goes.

Meh...I'm not sure. So I guess it's just best to do nothing and try to remember a) to hold my tongue when I really should and b) never get into one of these dumb-ass situations ever again.

Maybe I'll contact him when I stop thinking about this so much...