Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Sunday, April 24, 2005

I Don't Want To Go To Bed

No one I know really knows the full story here, so I might as well put it on my blog that Friday I was told by my work that my probation period has been extended for another two months, mainly because in the past two months I have been unable to get my act together at the kindy and work things out.

My supervisor says it really is nothing to worry about, but I do worry. I hate the idea that this job and I are not clicking. That I am unable to work with my coteacher and fee that I am working sometimes against her. She told me she would work with me and try to help me get caught up with everything, and to try not to make things (art projects) too perfect. I am putting myself under a lot of stress with this job, and trying not to take the job so seriously, but I'm almost of the mind if I can't do it well, I just can't do it at all. I'm dreading work tomorrow cause once again I know I'll wind up feeling like I have been stranded out in the ocean, desperate for a life preserver to be thrown my way.

I must complete these workbooks in a certain amount of time and do art projects. At least now I have been told I don't have to do them every day, maybe just now 2 or 3 times a week to get them all caught up on their books, but I worry that it's all going to be like Sisyphus rolling that rock up the hill, only for it to tumble back down again.

This week's theme is our environmental one, and I honestly, at 1125 p.m., have no real idea what we will be doing tomorrow for art. Maybe a book the kids can illustrate and take home on how to be a good friend to the earth or whatever. I really wish I didn't have to think of that. Like I was joking with my friend earlier today, since we can't find the horoscope section in the paper we were looking at, it must be a sign to stay home this entire week.

Oh well...next weekend is a three day one and I may be able to visit the Outlying Islands after all.