Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Sunday, April 24, 2005

A Slow Burn Won't Go Up In Flames, Will It?

Is it better for things to start quickly and (as it has been for me) end just as abruptly, sometimes leaving you feeling like the rug's been pulled out from underneath you, or is it better for things to start off slowly -- so slowly you wonder if it's wrong not to feel the rush of emotions that are pretty commonplace for those kind of relationships that do tend to crash and burn?

I genuinely like what I have come to know of him, but I think part of the reason why I have this question is that I am not sure about how much he will let me come to know. He pretty much said as much to me this afternoon, that he's not big about talking about himself and he likes to keep the cards close to his chest as it were, and that's just how he is.

He has said he wants to take things slowly, which I am happy to do, as I think too often I have leapt without looking and then later wondered why the bottom fell out so quickly, and then I am left feeling "Damn, I wish he didn't know that about me." But without a certain level of sharing, where you get to know someone with their history and likes and dislikes, their warts and all, there's not much sense of intimacy.

And then maybe I'm just being too damn impatient, as I only went out with him for the first time last weekend, and have seen him twice since then. So you could also say even though we are on the slow track, we are certainly seeing quite a bit of each other.