Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Sunday, July 24, 2005

A Random Thought Before I Go

I used to work for a very conservative newspaper, one that is owned by the Rev. Sun-myeong Moon, a practitioner of the Costco style marriage: It's better in bulk. I decided working for that paper was not my thing, and then decided to try teaching abroad. Now, out of all the countries in the world I could have gone to, I choose to teach (and stay for 3 years) in Korea. The homeland of the Rev. Sun-myeong Moon.

Now, I'm worried about how this might look on my resume in a way, but then, I'm sure after three or so years, my dalliance in ultra-right wing journalism will have to be left off the page, simply for space reasons.

But what if for example, I decide that teaching kindy isn't right for me and I decide to get into yet another profession? I have always thought that forensic science might be pretty interesting, but then, what would it say about me to my future employer, that I have chosen to move from children -- bubbly, bouncy, and loud -- to something where I generally work with dead people all day long? As they say, dead people tell no tales. I wonder what other weird career leaps there could be in the HR world, like from stuntman to Drivers' Ed. teacher, or rock musician to person of the cloth (I know that has happened but can't now name who.) Does anyone else have any other strange career leaps that they know of or have heard about?

And I will leave you with that as tomorrow morning, bright and early, I will be headed on a plane for Malaysia. I'm kind of bummed that Google Map doesn't seem to know so much about Asia and that Kuala Lumpur looks like a blurry mass of something or other. They are much better with cities in North America, of course, and I haven't yet tried Europe. Maybe I'll see what they think India looks like later.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

IMuDB?

I love IMDB (The Internet Movie Data Base) and can spend ages on there just wasting time. I like the trivia section, what can I say? Anyways, I was thinking how cool it would be if there were a site like that for music, a site devoted to the history of various rock bands and music trivia. Does anyone know of a site like that?

10 Day Forecast For Malaysia: Crap

I just had a gander on weather.com to see how the weather would be in Kuala Lumpur (besides hot).

Read it and weep (for me)!

Looks like 10 days straight, that's from the moment I get there to the moment I leave, of scattered thunderstorms. Looks like I might just wind up in a movie theater or two at some point in my travels. I haven't even begun to think about what it is I want to do while there and where it is I want to go. But that is what my Lonely Planet guide is for.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Pot and Kettle! Pot and Kettle!

Is it usually true that the things that bug us the most about other people are really traits we have in ourselves?

Bawk bawk bawk ~:>

I just earlier posted my title as "OK, I'm going to be blunt here," but I think instead I'm chickening out.

Shit, it's scary when anyone can read what you have to say, and you're worried you look like you're only making excuses for yourself.

And I don't want this to turn into a "Let me hang out my fetishes/psychoses out for all to see" kind of blog, though I'm sure for some people, having a blog where you can be completely confessional and private must be pretty good for the soul. I know too many people who read this, so I feel I can't have that same luxury.

But after the last two train-wreck relationships I have had, I knew I wanted to do some work on myself, so I couldn't keep repeating my same mistakes. Of course, what's learned in childhood is pretty hard to reprogram on your own. So I've been going for some help lately, and during our last talk, she asked me to examine the possibility that my childhood, or lack thereof, might have been responsible in making me a word that starts with "c."

No, not that one! It's a word much larger than that and if I paid anyone that much money to abuse me like that, then for sure even I would know I had serious issues with relating to people.

I guess I'm just scared about the road ahead for me, but I have to face up to what I have become and how I act and how that is not good for me.

And true to form, I'm thisclose to thinking of something else to write right after this so I can move right along.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Beddy Bye Time Soon!

I like Hong Kong
I like Hong Kong
Yes I do
Yes I do
I like Hong Kong
I like Hong Kong
How about you?
How about you?


Our trivia team got second prize tonight and I once again held my own in the music category (7 out of 10 with no help needed and we wound up with 8 straight right)! Then I ate a greek salad pita pcoket. And in about 2 days, I'm going to see the Big Buddha. (No, don't worry! I'm neither planning to die or find someone to sell me something illicit. It's just a huge touristy statue next to a vegetarian restaurant.)

I'm having such a good time here.

Yes I know I am a nerd.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Come out of Lurking!

And help me decide on a name for these guys...er, girls, er...I think one of each.

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Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Really Full-On Vacation Mode

Today, through the grace of one of my friends/coworkers, I had my first ever facial.

Really happy stuff. You lie on a bed for 2 hours, they cover you with a purple blankie and then put a lot of stuff and goop on your face. Then they steam your face. Then they pluck your eyebrows (I kid you not...nothing I would consider standard facial fare) and then they really go at your face with some kind of weird tool used to get out all the crud that has latched on to your face for the past...well, in my case, 28 years.

That was a bit painful, but then after that, they treat you to a nice back and shoulder massage. I'm kind of disheartened to have learned I have to (or I should say, "should") go back in about 10 days. I guess that means in only 10 days time, I'll be (close to) back to square one in terms of face crud.

I think it's really important to do the whole facial/manicure/pedicure thingy every now and again. It's really good to do something nice for yourself, to pamper yourself every now and again, damn the costs.

After we both got our faces worked on, we went out to this really nice cafe and had scones and tea. What a great afternoon I had! It's such a shame that after this really great time I had, my friend is now leaving to go off to bigger and better things in her home town, but I hope she won't become a stranger.

I Can't Think of a Title at 3 a.m.

So in the latest news of Kate as a Sim, I'm apparently going to grow old really quickly and die alone. I thought games were supposed to be fun for all who played, unless of course you're talking about dodge ball.

And with no real reason why, I have been feeling a bit down the past couple of days. I just started back on the Pill, so I wonder if that is the reason for my feeling so blah now. I want to be excited about stuff but can't.

I'm up because of this huge thunderstorm we just had, but I don't think I had a good sleep prior to it...ate waaaay too much rich good food for dinner and am sure I began to dream of suddenly waking up old and alone.

Hey good people playing my Sim, can you at least give me some cats?

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Vacation Mode in Full Effect

Today has been pretty good so far. It's nice to feel relaxed as in "I don't have to work tomorrow," so spent an eternity at the mall looking for two pairs of shoes: sports sandals and Chuck Taylor sneakers.

I'm horribly particular about these sneakers. Almost to the point of being anal, and where did this over-heightened sense of brand loyalty come from anyways? I can't see myself in Skechers or K-Swiss or Puma. I guess it's still a throwback to my high school days, like my self-identity as an alterna-prep would change if I decided to buy something more girly like Keds or something more old school like Adidas.

I just want a nice pair of black low-tops, but they seem to be so hard to find here in Hong Kong.

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Is this really so much to ask for, Hong Kong?

I did manage to find some new sandals anyways. Tevas. Another high school throwback, but at that time, I thought I could never afford those and just never wore sandals in the first place. Then I move to humid Asia in 2002, and wonder how the hell did I ever go without sandals in the first place.

Tomorrow I plan on having a decent American-style breakkie with some friends in Central, then having dinner at a coworker's house. Sometime this week I would like to venture out and see a movie, either The Fantastic Four or Batman Begins (maybe).

I love not having to feel in a rush to do anything. And by this time next week, I have been in Malaysia for a good 2 hours or so.

I also appear to have taken a vacation mode to this post as it really doesn't seem to be about anything much as well.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Weird Dream Report

Not too weird this time. Saw a video of a modern-day Four Tops (although there were actually only two in the video due to natural circumstances) do a version of John (Cougar) Mellencamp's "Small Town." The two were dressed up like street musicians, nothing flashy and one of them had an upright bass in a case and he was hitting that in time to the music as they sang the song.

I just love this song and always have. Not sure why I think there ought to be a Motown version of it out there, but you know I hold no responsibility for myself when I am asleep. I'm from a small city anyways, and in my childhood, I did dream of fleeing it, but I guess I have always loved the bridge of the song. I love the ideal of it.

Well I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Prob'ly die in a small town
Oh, those small communities

All my friends are so small town
My parents live in the same small town
My job is so small town
Provides little opportunity

Educated in a small town
Taught the fear of Jesus in a small town
Used to daydream in that small town
Another boring romantic that's me

But I've seen it all in a small town
Had myself a ball in a small town
Married an L.A. doll and brought her to this small town
Now she's small town just like me

No I cannot forget where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be


Got nothing against a big town
Still hayseed enough to say
Look who's in the big town
But my bed is in a small town
Oh, and that's good enough for me

Well I was born in a small town
And I can breath in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that's prob'ly where they'll bury me


Also I think I had a dream abut an ex-boyfriend but I don't remember exactly what went on. Maybe we saw the video together. In any case, trying to recall that part of the dream doesn't make me feel angry or sad, just a bit bittersweet about the whole thing. I do know in order to move forward you can never look back really, and so I'm a little bit troubled by this, but I also know I am doing my best.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Last Day of School! Last Day of School!

(Said like Nemo in the movie Finding Nemo as he excitedly hurled himself headfirst into a coral grove.)

After thinking this year was such a struggle, my boss actually gave me a raise. It wasn't all that much in USA dollars but much better than being shown the door on the way out!

I just spent the last 4 hours hanging out with my coworkers at a local bar and had a really great time. I work with some pretty cool people. I may have to change sites in a couple weeks, but I hope I still keep in touch with many of them. (Hell, it's the end of the school year for my four year olds and *I'm* the one getting all yearbook misty eyed. Heh!)

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Before I Go To Bed...

I just took a test that declared I was only 33 percent American. That has to be due in part to the fact I have been away for well over three years!

And I just got back from a trivia night. Our team placed 5th but I did very well in the Music category on my own (blush). I'm meeting a lot of great people and things are starting to feel like they did in high school, in a good way of course. I'm feeling really happy, and so I hope this doesn't mean I'll fall flat on my face in my job to compensate for that.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Crossroads

I *think* I know what I want to do; I just need to find a way to actually get there. And the trick is to do it without leaving Hong Kong. Hmmmmmmm..............

2 a.m. Musings

So in between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. yesterday I became sick with yet another cold. (Good thing about being sick: I don't want to eat anything now. Bad thing: I still am eating stuff when I am not hungry.) It got to be that at 4, I could barely keep my eyes open. So I came home, and literally went to bed around 545 p.m. It's now 2 a.m. and I am wide awake. I smell a sick day coming up in the near future for me.

Oh well. At least I got one thing done: I'm turtle sitting now and took the opportunity of being awake at such a late hour to clean their tank. I'm sure they love me for that. I need to think of some names for these guys, as my friend has neglected giving them one. Quite rightly, she says, "They're just turtles." I'm sure lots of people named their pet rocks though. I'll have to watch them closely over the next month I have them, as they do their turtle thing, and maybe post some pics and if anyone has any suggestions, post them here. ("Lunch and dinner," even with this being China and all is really not all that funny.)

Also while surfing around on my high school's reunion webpage, I saw that I think one of my friends from high school has possibly beaten me (in the secret competition I set up with myself, of course) in the category of who has moved furthest away from our hometown. Sad to say, he's only like a three hour plane ride away from me as well. Curses!

And I have been made into a Sim! Ha ha! My aspiration is knowledge and I have taken a job as a med tech. And already I have missed work twice. (Probably cause Sim Kate somehow knows real life Kate would never set foot in a la-bore-a-tory.)

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Guys

I've been spending a lot of time hanging out with guys lately and am happy to say I really don't want to date any of them. It might be a good thing to make friends (and peace) with the opposing team, and it's quite a relief to not have to have that sort of pressure there to try to impress them. I got a bit worried when we started talking about dating and I said I never could be friends with my exes no matter how hard I tried and then worried about being judged; my friend then told me he tends to pull disappearing acts on girls he doesn't want to date anymore.

When I realized that didn't change my opinion of him, I felt relaxed, and then made a mental note that yeah, maybe I am just going to only be his friend. And that's great. It's nice to be able to relate to a guy without any pressure to impress.

Friday, July 08, 2005

My Thoughts About London

The terrorist attack against London frightens me to the extent as to I wonder how safe Hong Kong is, an area full of Western interests and expats. I've already lived through September 11, 2001 when I lived in D.C. and I hope I never have to go through anything like that again. I hope I don't sound too selfish, but I've just realized (again) that this sort of thing could happen anywhere, and while I'm not going to become paranoid over my personal safety (personal gas masks anyone?), today I became aware again of my own mortality, like many many others, I'm sure.

I have friends from England here and I was concerned about their families last night. My friend said she couldn't understand the terrorist's logic, what is so important to them want to attempt to kill what could easily have been thousands of people? This same friend could understand why people would be angry with my friend's Indian boyfriend wearing a pro-USA T-shirt in an airport shortly after September 11.

I just think it's a really crazy world we live in, where there are people who can understand some kinds of racism, or take a blase attitude toward it existing, and there are others who think that it's OK to kill others who disagree with your world view. People say the roots of terrorism exist in poverty and a getting a feeling of self-importance that doesn't occur anywhere else in a terrorist's life. I wonder if there really is any way to combat the roots of terrorism, or if the worlds between the Christian dominated societies and the Muslim dominated societies are really that far apart. I'm probably not doing any of my thoughts justice. I know nothing about international relations and world politics. I remember as a child being afraid of the Russians and then laughing with relief when I saw a TV special showing Russian children saying they were afraid of us. But this now is much different I think. There's no global chess match here, no idle talking about "the things that will happen if..." People keep getting kidnapped and then beheaded in the Middle East, and then we still have these well-planned sneak attacks in major Western cities. When will it all end?

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Aiiiya! Got Tagged!

This is from the blog Mine's a Happy Lot. Scott pulled me in to respond. Is it cause I don't have you on my favorite reads list yet, Scott? :)

What was I doing 10 years ago: Taking turns being excited and also freaked out over going away to college.
5 years ago: Working for a newspaper
1 year ago: Working as an English teacher in a middle school.
Yesterday: Shopping for a friend's going away present in the most ginormous mall I have ever seen.
5 Snacks I enjoy: Marble loaf slices, cheese balls, chips and salsa, honey roasted mixed nuts, popcorn.
5 songs I know all the words to: The U2 and Beatles catalogues, Don't Speak and Spiderwebs by No Doubt, Like A Prayer by Madonna.
5 Things I would do with a $100 million: (Let the interest pay off the bills) Travel, get corrective surgery for my eyes, buy lots of clothes, donate a lot to various charities.
5 Locations I would like to run away to: San Francisco, Paris, Rome, London, Helsinki
5 Bad habits I have: Splashing water all over the baseboard when I wash my face, biting my fingernails, not making proper eye contact, procrastinating, obsessing over past mistakes
5 Things I like doing: Shopping, eating, watching movies, kickboxing, blogging
5 Things I would never wear: a midriff baring shirt, short shorts, a thong, pointy toe shoes, shirts with too much writing or bedazzlement going on.
5 TV shows I like: America's Next Top Model, Malcolm in the Middle, Lost, Cold Case, CSI (I mainly watch the Miami series but I do like them all).
5 Biggest joys of the moment: Being in Hong Kong, the school year is almost over, my upcoming trip to Malaysia, just got paid earlier this week, the school year is almost over (yes I meant to do that!)
5 Favourite toys: Cell phone, laptop, DVD player, digital camera, and (when I actually get one) an iPod or mp3 player.
5 next victims: Micah, Mojo and Breanne, Mandy, Kim, Letti*

(*If you would like to do this of course and happen upon it first...)

Should I Or Shouldn't I?

I've just gotten sucked into the hoopla that is the 10 Year Reunion of my high school. I put up a profile of myself. I've just submitted some "Now" photos. And I got an email from a childhood friend who says she is "bumming" cause I may not go out there after all.

Well, it's too far! It'd be like a day's flight out. She only has to cross the country, herself! And what I have to ask myself in between now and November is "Is this going to be worth it?" I wasn't one of those kids who was pushed into lockers on a daily basis in high school (No, that was junior high school!) but I also wasn't one of the smartest or funniest or most athletic or whatever either. I was just there. I gave a good impersonation of being perky and of being super-smart, but certainly, I did nothing that was super stand-out at all.

If I fly out all the way over there, will people remember me? Will they care that I came all that way out from Hong Kong to see what happened with my classmates? Cause I really only keep up with one now, don't think I made any enemies while there, and a lot of going to this reunion like 5,000 or 6,000 (maybe more) miles away is out of morbid curiosity.

It's interesting reading all the bios of my classmates. Some are happily married, having married someone they dated in high school, some are selling pharmaceuticals. Some are not even 30 yet and already divorced. Well, that happens. My profile is like a mile long and I think it screams I am insecure about not having met that special someone. It reads like you should be following along on a map: "I've been here and here, done this and that there, and dammit I am a cool person cause I live in Hong Kong now!" That's what it sounds like to me, anyways.

It could be fun. It could be a lot like Grosse Pointe Blank. And it could also be strangely awkward. I'll have to think about it.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Roommate bonding

Last night, albeit over a few beers, my roommate actually told me she thought I was a much more dignified person than she was when it came to resolving conflicts. While I appreciate her sentiment, I think she had to have been really drunk to say that.

Also last night we had a bonding moment when we both revealed that as children, we were both called "Sarah Bernhardt" by our relatives for having the talent for being over emotional and blowing things out of proportion.

I should have gone to acting school. Really.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Random

Our school gives away year-end awards to children who demonstrate Leadership and Helpfulness, but shouldn't all pre-school kids be given awards for crying out loud?

Thank You Ladies and Germs!

Against my better judgment, especially if I am going to enter my blog in any more popularity contests, I am going to share with you some jokes a friend of mine made up, and then invited all his friends to make them up as well. They basically involve Swedes, but please rest assured that no Swedish people were meant to be harmed during the telling of these jokes:

Q: What do you get when you cross a Swede with the Beatles?

A: Volvover Beethoven

Q: What is a Swedish person's favorite song?

A: Bitterswede Symphony

Q: What do you get when you cross a Swedish person with a furniture store?

A: I haven't the slightest Ikea.

(I claim full responsibility for the last one, by the way.)

Now that I think of it, I think these jokes are better after a couple glasses of wine. Anyways, I like these jokes as bad as they are for their awful puns. I love playing around with the English language and it's nice to be with people who share the same interest of torturing others with bad jokes.

Don't forget to tip your waitresses.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Weird Dream Report

Over the past two days I have had the strangest dreams:

  • July 1: Have a dream where I buy some cough medicine and soon after I start to ooze this yellow paint like substance out of my eyes and nose and I even piss the substance out of my system. I'm worried, but my thoughts are along the lines of "I wonder if they will give me my money back because I don't remember where I put the receipt." Strangely enough, I do remember that I bought the medicine at CVS, a drug store chain popular in America, but nowhere to be found here in Hong Kong.
  • June 30: I wake up angry at 4 in the morning, not sure what brought that on. After I get myself to go to sleep around 5 (thank God I had a late start that morning) I first dream that I see a picture of Paris Hilton in a magazine. She is dressed nicely (like I heard she did right after the whole sex tape scandal broke out -- she wanted to give the image she really is a good girl) in some sort of peach colored dress. The back of the dress dips past her shoulder blades and on her back you can see these really angry looking dull green splotches, almost like some kind of mold is attacking her. I'm not sure if it was mold or if the magazine said it was some form of STD (yeah yeah, I know on her back? Well, I was asleep here!) but it looked really disgusting, a total contrast to her dress and how she had been made up. I remember feeling grossed out and also sorry for her.
  • June 30 (part 2) One of the boys that my coworker teaches tells me he has seen the movie "Boys Don't Cry." He is 4 years old now. I'm not sure how we got onto that conversation.

It's really funny. As soon as I left Korea, I have been able to remember a lot more of my dreams, and they have become the kind I have so my subconscious can amuse myself, apparently. (I forget when it was, but I have also dreamed I went to a party thrown by Ashton Kutcher which got really interesting when a pack of vampires showed up. The dream was so vivid, I remember when I was in that state of being half awake and half asleep being worried I had become a vampire myself. I remember actually thinking, "Well the room is bright in here and I'm not in pain," and also being afraid to look into the mirror to check my neck (though of course if I had become a vampire, looking into a mirror would have done me no good.)

But I'm digressing.

In the past, when I did remember my dreams, they were full of people I knew doing things I expected. It was like going to sleep and still living real life. (At least it got better than the types of dreams I had in high school: I'd come home from a shit day at work, go to sleep, and *poof* I'd be back there at work in my dream.)

I'm going to try like hell to remember to post the really odd dreams I have just so if anyone happens on this, maybe they too will be amused at where my brain goes when I fall asleep.