Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Sunday, August 21, 2005

You Asked For It...

Dear Readers,

A friend of mine has asked me to submit a poll question for her in the hopes she can finally believe what her real-time, real-life friends are telling her again and again. And again.


She is crushing on this guy. And he is quite crushable. I even liked him quite briefly when I first met him. But this post is not about me. It is about my friend, the crushable guy, and the fact that he is so crushable that one of her friends likes him quite a bit too, and has for more than one afternoon.

(To my friend, you told me to post, but didn't dictate the spin the story should have. So I hope you aren't wanting to kill me at this moment, or when you finish reading. And feel free to comment and add to the story or clarify anything that I have gotten wrong.)


So her friend liked this guy for awhile and then my friend started hanging out with this group of people, and she found herself starting to become interested in her friend's crush. And she felt that he might start becoming interested in her too, but out of a sense of loyalty to her friend she did or said nothing to him about it. Then recently he said to my friend he would like to take her out on a date. She accepted and told her friend to be honest and her friend went a bit ballistic, saying real friends would not date a guy that another friend had a crush on, and saying she was hurt and disappointed in her. My friend thinks her friend is trying to bully her out of dating him in a subtle way.

I think that would be true if the other person were a couple or working up the courage to date the guy, but this wasn't the case. As I see it, the friend had taken herself out of the equation when she decided dating him would ruin the social dynamics of the group we are all in. My friend has decided to take that chance. And also you can not control how a person feels or own a person. I think it'd be different if they had already been dating, but when it's just a crush, all's fair in love and war, yeah? (Yeah, you can probably reference past posts where I was obsessing over some guy as well, but I am working on that. Hm!) so she can't be mad at my friend, saying she made him like her and that now she can't trust her with the guys she likes. (I wish you could make people like you...dating would be easier that way.)

My time is almost up here, so I am just wondering what anyone else reading this thinks of the situation. This post has been totally sanctioned by my friend. I am not gossiping about her without her knowledge; I'm doing it with her approval and by her request! If I have more time later, I'll go back and flesh out the details if I need to.