Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Not Much of an Eraser After All...

So an interesting thing happened to me a few days ago: a combination of this post and this post, and now I am gurgling in my obnoxiousness, trying to reel it all in before my friends declare I have provided them with too much information.

My perceptions may have changed, as the last time any thing like this happened, my perception was soured the next morning by the news of my ultra-socially conservative mother's death. For the longest time, I couldn't divorce the two things that had happened almost at once. And so even if I had the chance, I'd probably be scared by the thought of a phone call or email from the fam asking me to remain calm while they tell me something.

And on a smaller, less emotional, but much more juvenile scale, it's been over a year. (Well, I'm not the kind of person to actively seek this stuff out! And yes, I have a feeling that while it seems guys doing the one night stand thing feel almost obligated to say to the other person that they are "nervous," and some girls might feel like they have to say "I don't normally do this," it happens to be true for me. Heh. No really!)

And now after this time, I am actually doing something unexpected and thinking that while I now have a valid working email address, and we've now exchanged one letter apiece, do I even want to continue to write him? For while it was a definite ego boost, part of me is saying I'd love to quit while I am ahead, for lack of a better phrase, as I really would like to remember this guy in the best possible way, as a very sweet and kind guy who treated me well (and not like a pencil eraser) when we met each other, with no possibility of weirdness or disappointment that may follow later from trying to extend the shelf life of something that may need not be extended. (I'm not being too shallow here, the guy is not even living in the same country as me, though we did come from the same one, God Bless America! And going along with that, I probably won't be having another for a really long time, which is fine, so I want this one to be the one I remember for a while.)

Edit: Well, OK, so I emailed him again. But I'm not really holding my breath.