Pulled In Many Directions

Not-so-daily rambings about my life and my thoughts

Monday, December 26, 2005

Something To Get Off My Chest

No matter what, I think I am always going to have those well-meaning friends who want me to change my haircut (even though I already did) want me to wear a new shade of eyeshadow (even though they won't do it themselves) or somehow think of some way to vastly improve me, like wearing some lip gloss is the only thing that stands between me and a line of guys falling at my feet and I am wasting an opportunity by ignoring it.

I really don't know why I seem to have this sign all around me, to be the recipient of unwanted (really!) fashion and makeup advice, but I wish I knew of a nice way to get my friends to lay off with the "helpful" hair makeup and fashion tips. I should get blonde highlights, I should make my hair look chunkier, I need to wear a certain color eyeshadow and wear more revealing tops. I know I shouldn't listen to it all, and of course I should only live a life that makes me happy, but one day I would like to submit myself to all the suggestions I have ever received in the past year and maybe my haphazard appearance (once explained) will stop the unsolicited advice.

It got old with me way back in junior high school (so that's at least 15 years of being seen as a constant renovation project) what with the being first rushed into the bathroom in the 8th grade to have my hair teased out into whatever the hell the cool girls had their hair shellacked into. And my theater director telling me in high school I needed to brush my hair more, get it out of my face (and I never thought I walked around like Kurt Cobain or Cousin It on a regular basis, maybe *just* after I got out of the shower) and maybe I was afraid of my sexuality, as she put it. Even though I think they do mean well, and I just might be taking it a bit to heart too much, why the hell do these people care so much?

I'd like to have a stylist sure, but this person would HAVE TO be someone who would recognize that a makeover shouldn't be looked at as a radical change, but as an improvement on an already pretty good product. You don't make sushi from Vanilla Coke after all. I was reading In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner and she had one of her characters start a personal shopping business. How she got a feel for her clients' style was to ask them what their favorite piece of clothing is. They may not be flashy, but I actually have quite a few pieces of clothing that make me feel good. Not in an "I'm going to take on the world!" sort of way, but in an "I'm a pretty cool down-to-earth person" sort of way.

Mine are my black "soccer style" shirt with the three white stripes down the sleeves cause it's pretty cool looking and comfy. I loooove my black turtleneck as I feel artsy (ha ha) when I wear it and it makes my hair and my face stand out. (It's black.) I love anything I own that is sleeveless cause while not all that toned, it's the one part of my body that I can not say is in dire need of losing weight. I like my arms, yes! I have said it! I like my sleeveless blue top from Esprit cause it's clingy but not in a bad way. I love my Mandarin-style navy blue vest from Ann Taylor cause I got it in a thrift store.

I also like my shirt that has a map of the world on it with labels of "American" "Asian" "African" and so on and then in larger orange letters the word "me" in the center. I like the subtle political statement I think this shirt has (most likely) unintentionally made. It's the same kind of thinking that goes to the center of why I hate my well-meaning friends saying "You should try..." I just want to be known as me, and I really don't want to be in a place where I am me, but now a me who feels she is hopeless cause the frickin eyeliner has and always will go on too crooked. I don't want to be this friend's version of New and Improved Me or that friend's version of Better Kate. I just don't want to be seen as a guinea pig at all.

I like my tan pants with the cargo style pockets, but I really like my army green pants I broke down and bought from Marks and Spencer cause they have false pockets and real pockets on an angle and I have to wear a belt with them. I like my skirt that while a bit too long for these short legs has a really cool looking batik pattern on it in varying shades of blue. I bought it in Thailand last time I was there. I like my platform sandals cause they give me height and they are pretty funky looking, even if I do say so myself. I love my Converse All Stars, black cause they go with anything I wear, and very simple and classic. I am a Chucks loyalist. I can't imagine wearing any other kind of shoe. I started buying them at university when I needed a shoe that was cheap, and I haven't looked back since. I like my Tevas cause they are pretty comfy and easy to get in and out of. It's the only Velcro shoe I will ever wear.

So I'm not sure what Maggie could do with that. Or even if I would want her to really do anything. I don't know how to tell the world via clothes or makeup that I absolutely love music, that I would do anything to have lunch with Bono, Thurston Moore, Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp, that I have a weird thing with spelling and punctuation, that I always have to get it right, that I love stupid chick flicks, that I have a quirky sense of humor, that I love people who inject non sequiturs into their conversations, that I hate to eat steak and could take or leave chocolate. That I can never see myself voting Republican and love to travel and want to see Europe and Australia before I die. That I love being by the ocean. I love its smell. That I cry easily during sappy-ass movies and hate that I do. I don't think any style of dress or any mascara is going to be able to convey any of those things. And with all that, me, regardless of the semi-designer style clothes behind the makeup mask, I should be seen as much more interesting and intelligent than the answers to the questions "Clinique or MAC? Esprit or Gap?"

Thank you for reading, maybe now I don't have to say any more about it.